did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
