I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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