One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
