Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
