I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
