I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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