if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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