i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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