i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
