i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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