I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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