alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
