A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
