we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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