I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
