I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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