Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
