Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
