in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize