We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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