he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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