I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
