Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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