Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
