I am puke
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
