i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
