your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
