Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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