He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize