Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sorry my hands just texted you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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