I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
