Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize