Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
