you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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