What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
not ubering you a puppy
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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