Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
