I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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