i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
