Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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