Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
