Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
