I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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