All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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