dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
