i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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