I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And then the night went full on bisexual.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
