Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
