My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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