I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Randomize
