I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
