So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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