Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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