god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize