Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
