Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
