New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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