just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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