Don't you send me to vm
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
