do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
