You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
