i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
