:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
