Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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